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What shall I do today?
I wonder as I lay...
The sun is up outside
But here inside I hide
Options cloud my mind
A clear one I can't find
How did I get here?
The future so unclear
That way of life is gone
But for it I still long
They've taken it away
With rules they say, we must, obey
No freedom there to stay
So trapped I feel this way
The options still I feel
But none of them appeal
I've done them all before
And now it's just the law
I'm mourning for the loss
Each morning's coin I toss
Still yawning from the night
Of sleepless dark to light
My stomach churns again
Get up? I wonder when
Just want to sleep some more
And not to feel unsure
I need to eat I guess
Maybe that will ease my stress
And I need my waste away
But still in bed I lay
I miss my lovely lads
And empathise all dads
My patience being tried
Take deep breath inside
Not sure where I belong
No urge to sing my song
No need for what I do
My voice is torn in two
Afflicted by this curse
Not sure when I've felt worse
But of that I have no doubt
Guess I've just blocked it out
So long it seemed so good
In business I stood
And positive I was
And I know it was because
Freedom then I felt
In freedom then I dwelt
Now I'm stuck in one place
With fears that I must face
And mountains yet to climb
Punished for a crime?
The crime of saying "NO!
I won't go with your flow!"
There's no escape it seems
You may live out your dreams
But eventually you fall
And the nightmares come to call
Negative in thought
More pain to you is brought
Just got to see it through
And to your beliefs be true
And then to rise anew
A stronger, wiser you
On a beach to stroll
No illusions of control
Find a way to see
My soul is where I'm free
I'm not my 'self' or 'mind'
The real 'me' I must find
But the 'real' must be refined
If it can be defined
© Project Freeman Music: 13 Taurus♉ 13522 UCC (4th May 2021 Gregorian)
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In a fix - anxiety and depression - requiring an inner fix - in a fixed sign (Taurus♉)
When you're in a fix you need to go deep and fix things inside before you can really heal
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© Project Freeman Music 13522 UCC (2021 Gregorian)