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Litmus A Freeman

  

Inner Fixed

Poem

   

What shall I do today?

I wonder as I lay...

The sun is up outside

But here inside I hide

   

Options cloud my mind

A clear one I can't find

How did I get here?

The future so unclear

   

That way of life is gone

But for it I still long

They've taken it away

With rules they say, we must, obey

   

No freedom there to stay

So trapped I feel this way

The options still I feel

But none of them appeal

    

I've done them all before

And now it's just the law

I'm mourning for the loss

Each morning's coin I toss

   

Still yawning from the night

Of sleepless dark to light

My stomach churns again

Get up? I wonder when

   

Just want to sleep some more

And not to feel unsure

I need to eat I guess

Maybe that will ease my stress

  

And I need my waste away

But still in bed I lay

I miss my lovely lads

And empathise all dads

  

My patience being tried

Take deep breath inside

Not sure where I belong

No urge to sing my song

  

No need for what I do

My voice is torn in two

Afflicted by this curse

Not sure when I've felt worse

  

But of that I have no doubt

Guess I've just blocked it out

So long it seemed so good

In business I stood

  

And positive I was

And I know it was because

Freedom then I felt

In freedom then I dwelt

  

Now I'm stuck in one place

With fears that I must face

And mountains yet to climb

Punished for a crime?

  

The crime of saying "NO!

I won't go with your flow!"

There's no escape it seems

You may live out your dreams

  

But eventually you fall

And the nightmares come to call

Negative in thought

More pain to you is brought

  

Just got to see it through

And to your beliefs be true

And then to rise anew

A stronger, wiser you

  

On a beach to stroll

No illusions of control

Find a way to see

My soul is where I'm free

  

I'm not my 'self' or 'mind'

The real 'me' I must find

But the 'real' must be refined

If it can be defined

     

© Project Freeman Music: 13 Taurus♉ 13522 UCC (4th May 2021 Gregorian)

  

  

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In a fix - anxiety and depression - requiring an inner fix - in a fixed sign (Taurus♉)

    

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© Project Freeman Music 13522 UCC (2021 Gregorian)